TALL BOYS WITH PRETTY EYES AND DEEP VOICES AND MESSY HAIR WHO SMIRK A LOT ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND
Elmo contacts the pentagon
Jesus Christ what is wrong with this site
i think you mean “Jesus Christ what is wrong with Sesame Street” because Elmo is literally contacting the pentagon in that little sketch okay he is a serious 3-and-a-half-year-old with serious AMERICAN business to attend to don’t fuck with Elmo
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited."
Sylvia Plath (via little-leprechaun-nialler)
“Hi! I’m the Doctor. I noticed you were having a bit of a bad day. So! Convinced you’re not important, eh? I’ve never heard a stupider stupid thought in my life. Wait. No. That sounds bad. Misguided, is that a nicer word? I don’t mean that YOU’RE stupid, but just your thoughts are stupid—
Right, anyway. Popped by in the TARDIS to remind you that I have never met someone who isn’t important. And if you’re clever and want to tell me we’ve never met, I’d like to remind you I said, ‘Hi! I’m the Doctor,’ and that counts as an introduction.
You matter. Just remember that. You matter.”
Fuck me I’m crying cause I read this in his voice and now I feel better.
(( Oh my gosh I’m actually crying I needed this so much right now. ))
Thank you, Doctor.